Just Who Do You Think You Are?

Have you ever considered what makes you who you are as an individual?  Is it nature or nurture? This debate has gone on for many years. If we think about it deeply enough it is easy to consider and argue both viewpoints. Recently a large part of who I thought I was as well as the history of half of my family was turned on its ear.  Almost everything we thought we knew about ourselves and our origins was discovered to be a fabrication. Somewhere this big lie, that was undoubtedly born of pain, shame, and the hope of assimilation took on a life of it’s own and was passed like a legacy from one ancestor to the next.

I’ll never forget the day that this legacy was passed on to me. I must’ve been six or seven. My father and I were walking, as we usually did, and he proudly told me that we were Native American, a mixture of Shawnee and Cherokee to be exact. How did he know this? His father had died when he was very young so the legacy was passed to my father by his uncles just as they learned it from the generation before them. Rumor had it that long ago a distant relative had ridden with the great Shawnee chief Blue Jacket.

This was an easy story to believe, our skin has a olive hue, the Walton men have dark hair, high foreheads, and larger noses. Aside from these physical characteristics, the story was also something to be proud of for a family that had never amassed any great fortune or fame. It was a legacy that must have provided comfort and continuity to my father and his sister as they were being raised in a succession of horrific foster homes in the 1940’s and 50’s.

It was about ten years ago that the cracks began to spider in this story’s veneer.  My brother, newly divorced and having a lot of time on his hands, decided to start researching our family tree. My mother’s side was easy, most came from Eastern Europe. Her grandfather immigrated from Ukraine and arrived on Ellis Island by steamer shortly after the turn of the century. Answers to the origins of my father’s side of the family didn’t reveal their secrets as easily.

My brother tracked down as many living relatives as he could find.  He discovered that back in the 1990's my father’s last living uncle took some notes, written in his own hand, from what he said claimed to have uncovered from courthouse records. These were just bits and pieces mainly. His pages were filled with tales of running moonshine during the Depression and hints of Native American origins but there was nothing truly cohesive about his words. They seemed like the ramblings of a man who realized he didn’t have many days left on this Earth trying desperately to validate a dream.

If there’s one thing bred into us it is diligence. My brother was steadfast and continued on in his research, probing further and further into the past. He joined a few genealogy websites and then the trail became quite interesting. He could find no evidence of Shawnee or Cherokee blood but eventually traced our lineage back to 1621 in Warwickshire, England.  William Walton was born that year and this was as far back into history as my brother was able to reach.  William resided not far from where Shakespeare had lived, just a few miles to be exact. William produced two sons who eventually sailed to America. But hundred year old lies have deep roots and not too many in the family, especially my father, wanted to believe these findings.

Fast forward a few years. I decided to take a DNA test with the genetic testing company 23andMe. I spit in a vial, mailed it off, and then had to wait a painstaking four or five weeks for the results of the test. My family was on the edge of their seats the whole time. My father somehow knew this would validate his long held beliefs. Finally the email from 23andMe arrived announcing the DNA findings were complete. I clicked on the link contained in the email, logged into the website, and found my way to the results for my paternal line.

The findings of this test changed my family forever. We discovered that my father’s DNA, my paternal haplogroup, originated in Northern Africa thousands of years ago. There were zero Asian markers, which means we have not a drop of Native American blood. Science revealed my paternal haplogroup was J2, which is Ashkenazi Jew. This was the furthest thing from what we expected. My brother and I, once over the initial shock, embraced this newfound knowledge. The older generations aren’t having as easy of a time coming to terms with the truth.

What makes us who we are? Is it nature or nurture? In my mind it’s a little of both and a whole lot of a third, less tangible, element. As humans we have a great and unique freedom. I believe what is written in our genes or the environment in which we are raised are just two small slices of a very large pie. The third and largest piece represents our inner thoughts and beliefs. It may sound overly simplistic but I believe we are who we think we are. From the cradle to the grave it’s mainly our own thoughts and beliefs that ultimately define us.  So I ask you, just who do you think you are?

~Eric Vance Walton~

How Will You Spend It?

Most of us walk through life as though we’ll live forever. We don’t give much thought to our relationship with time. We’re focused on the ups and downs of life events so much more than it's measurement. Minutes and hours are merely units of measure that steadily transition from the present to the past. Very soon we’ll be setting the clocks back an hour (depending on the timezone you live in you might already have.) Although there are still twenty-four hours in a day, while this time shift still new, it will feel as though we magically gain an extra sixty minutes in our day. I ask you, if you could spend this extra hour any way what would you do with it? Would you finally take the time to call that relative or old friend who you’ve been meaning to chat with? Would you start a exercise routine or catch up on your reading?

Most years for me, the ambrosia of sleep swallows up every minute of this gift but not this year. Daylight savings time will be very helpful to my career this time around. It will be my goal to spend at least an hour of every single day writing. I’m going to use this gift to carve out more than enough time to emerge from winter’s hibernation with the first draft of my second novel, Truth Is Stranger.

How will you spend your hour?

~Eric Vance Walton~

Why Is It So Easy?

Life can be extremely difficult. Life can also be magical and wondrous. When your eyes are opened to the deeper meaning of events unfolding around you in this physical world you begin to experience more of the latter. This great Universe is an interactive web of energy that has a way of giving you exactly what you need at the precise moment you need it. As a practicer of meditation and yoga for nearly twenty years I've learned a few things but most importantly I've realized I have much more to learn. A couple things I HAVE learned are:

1. None of us are given preference when it comes to these receiving these gifts of guidance and windows of opportunity. Certain people are just more aware of what's going on and recognize them when they occur; and

2. We are awesomely powerful beings and the quality of our thoughts dictate the quality of our life experience. Our thoughts, consciously or subconsciously, draw to us certain events and circumstances.

The great problem is most people (myself included) don't always remember they have the power to change their lives through something as simple as changing their mindset. This is so simple that, at first, seems like nonsense. Most times our lives have been like a rudderless ship drifting aimlessly in the current for so long that we're used to not being able to steer. We've become accustomed to reacting to life events instead of being proactive and taking control of them. Even after opening yourself up to the idea that this could be possible and then seeing it work first-hand it's still so easy to forget that we can do it.

Luckily, we have many tools to help us in our journey to begin to actively steer our lives towards our destinies. One awesomely powerful tool is the gift of affirmation. I was recently reminded of this from a massage therapist that my wife and I met. She explained that an affirmation is so much more powerful if it's framed into the form of a question. Questions have a way of focusing the energy of our minds like a laser beam and gets much better results than mere statements.

You can use these affirmations for anything you want to change or attain in your life. For example:

"Why is it so easy for me to be successful?"

"Why is it so easy for me to be happy?"

"Why is it so easy for me to be healthy?"

"Why is it so easy for me to make friends?"

These are just general examples but the beauty of these affirmations are their simplicity and flexibility. You can adapt this tool to pretty much any situation. Go ahead, give it a try! Really, what do you have to lose? I don't know about you but I could use a little more "easy" in my life.

~Eric Vance Walton~

Eric Vance Walton invites you to follow his unfolding story by “liking” his Facebook author page at https://www.facebook.com/EricVanceWaltonAuthor for updates and promotions on his current and upcoming projects.

Download a free preview of Eric’s new book One Word At A Time: Finding Your Way as an Indie Author, here: http://www.authorspublish.com/press/sample/

The Decade of Distraction

There’s no denying that the combination of social media and mobile devices are transforming us. The next time you’re in a public place, take notice of how many people are staring zombie-like at their mobile devices, totally oblivious to the world that is unfolding around them. Technology is advancing at such a fast pace that we haven’t had the time necessary to adapt to it from an evolutionary perspective. Science is showing that our brains are being rewired by this technology. We’re becoming less able to focus, self-absorbed, and more @ssholish than ever before. It seems like there's a massive emptiness in people’s hearts and they try to fill this void with material things. It seems we’re more connected to the world but less connected to those people in our lives who really matter. So many people are becoming more interested in recording our lives on social media than living it.

People, used to the relative anonymity of the internet are becoming increasingly brash in both their online as well as face-to-face interactions. This behavior is epidemic and stretches across all age and socioeconomic boundaries. There’s nothing more sad to me that watching a table of people in a restaurant staring at their smart phones instead of enjoying one another’s conversation and company. Life moves swiftly and there’s nothing worse than the sting of regret.

It wouldn’t surprise me if this time in history is eventually coined, “the decade of distraction.” I get it, there’s a lot to be fed up with these days and it’s mighty tempting to search for a mindless escape. The problem lies in how bad things will get if people become completely distracted and no longer are willing to actively participate in the real world.

I like the convenience of my iPhone as much as the next person and social media has completely transformed my writing career. Technology can be an amazing gift if used to our advantage and in moderation. We clearly haven’t found this happy medium, we’re drunk with it. It seems each day this world is becoming more like the dystopian society in my novel Alarm Clock Dawn and it scares the hell out of me.

Some days it takes immense strength and patience to be decent to people and engaged in this world but let me tell you why it’s worth it to make every effort. We’d never know it from watching the nightly news but this world is still a beautiful place and it’s full of interesting and incredible people. History shows us repeatedly how disastrous things happen when society becomes distracted. There’s still much this world has to teach us if we only look up from our phones long enough to pay attention.

~Eric Vance Walton~

Losing Our Humanity

We hear it all the time...there's no stopping change. We've been led to believe that you must either learn to be flexible and operate within ever changing parameters or be rendered obsolete. This doesn't mean you always have to like it or it's the best thing for all parties concerned. In the last 50 years technology has thrust change upon us time and time again. One profession that is queued up to take a huge hit is that of the taxi driver. In America, car services like Uber and Lyft are the more immediate threats to the traditional taxi cab by offering what most would consider a better experience at about 20% less cost. The death blow for the whole taxi industry will be delivered by a bulbous little car that looks like it's smiling. Google's pod-like self driving car is expected to be on the roads in every major city within the next 10 years and for the taxi industry it will be disastrous.

Just think how nice it will be to pay a monthly subscription fee and have access to a car to meet you within minutes of wherever you are. You'll be able to read the a book, browse Facebook (safely and legally), take selfies, or even enjoy a power nap while being driven to your destination. There will be obvious benefits to the elderly and it will be great for those who've had a few too many drinks and need to catch a ride home. Sure, this technology will provide convenience but like many of our recent technological advances I think it’s bound to make life far less interesting.

My wife and I live in a upper Midwestern city that’s so spread out we need to own cars to get around. The only time I have a chance to ride in a taxi is on the way to the airport which amounts to a couple of times a year. Still I’ve acquired a long list of interesting memories from these rides in a taxi. There must be something about the anonymity of the encounter that makes some taxi drivers willing to reveal deeply personal things that they normally wouldn’t.

I remember one frigid February morning, my wife and I were heading to the airport to catch a dreadfully early flight. The cab arrived at our door and standing next to it was a gruff man who appeared to be in his sixties with about two days of gray stubble on his face. We said good morning and he only grunted. We told him we needed to go to the main terminal of MSP. He said nothing but radiated this immense irritation. As the cab pulled away from the curb he clicked on the radio and the station played nothing but 70's love songs all the way to the airport. We think we saw a small tear spill out from his eye during Hall and Oates', "Baby Come Back". As he was getting our luggage out of the trunk we handed him a pretty sizable tip, his face lit up in one of the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen and he politely said, "Thank you." It was a complete transformation.

On another occasion, again on the way to the airport, a taxi driver of about the same advanced age came to pick us up. He was eager to talk and seemed like an average grandfatherly type. We chatted it up for a few miles and he told us about how he got into the profession. Shortly after he asked if we'd mind listening to the radio and we obliged. We were fully expecting light rock or oldies but no, he prefered to listen to something much different, gansta rap. We felt as if we were in a movie scene. The cab driver's head was bobbing rhythmically to the beat. He told us later that his stepdaughter was a local rapper and he was introduced to the music this way. Again, an experience that totally blew away preconceptions.

On a trip to Chicago we were picked up by cabbie in his mid-thirties. He was already seasoned, you could tell. In our short ride to a Bucktown restaurant he told us all of the exciting moments of his career including the exploits of a few national celebrities and local politicians who he had driven. No detail was spared. All I can say is I hope he embellished. If not, then the world is even more twisted than I imagine it to be.

I have more taxi stories but I’ll save them for another time. The point is we’re about to lose this. In just a few years this experience of getting into a car with a stranger that you’ll likely never see again will be gone forever. Yes, the experience is awkward and it’s uncomfortable at first but in the end you walk away with a memory that enriches your life and maybe just make you rethink a stereotype. It opens you up to new possibilities.

Change for the sake of change isn’t always a great thing. As a species we must progress beyond this honeymoon phase we have with technology. We’re transfixed. It’s a love affair and we’re mad about the newest, the fastest, the best. We must learn to have the foresight and the courage to think deeply about how change really impacts us and make appropriate decisions accordingly. One thing is for sure, little by little we’re losing our humanity. When you consider our traits sometimes this isn’t a bad thing but let’s be careful not to lose the good.

~Eric Vance Walton~

Writing Saved My Life

Writing Saved My Life. I’m what you would consider the polar opposite of Hunter S. Thompson or Ernest Hemingway in the sense that writing doesn’t summons my demons but rather it helped to deliver me from them. Writing words that have the power to capture people didn’t come naturally to me, it took years of hard work.

I began writing when I was in my early twenties. In hindsight most of what I wrote was bad to mediocre poetry. I didn’t make a dime off of it but it was a kind of therapy to help heal me from years of anxiety and depression. Writing allowed me to express bottled up feelings and emotions privately in the comfort of my own space, in my own time. I wrote every single day.

It was at some point in my mid twenties that I decided that I was going to attempt to write for a living. I had no idea how to go about this. Honestly, this has been a blessing and at times a curse. The road I’ve chosen hasn’t been an easy one. I’ve worked a day job for the last twenty years while building my writing career. I’ve watched nearly all of my peers at my day job pass me on the ladder of success. During my moments of waning hope I would sometimes feel like I’ve wasted my life pursuing a pipe dream.

I’m lucky in the fact that the strongest trait in my family’s bloodline is tenacity. So through it all I kept the faith and continued to do what my ancestors have always done. I worked, I honed, I soaked up all the knowledge I could while I waited for my moment to arrive. When I was younger I really believed that success would come all at once some day when a publisher or someone in the business would “discover me” and my life would be forever changed. I realize now this isn’t how it happens for most of us.

One day, shortly after I published my novel in 2013, I woke up. I realized that a writing career isn’t a destination as much as it is a lifelong journey. Ever since I had this epiphany I’ve viewed writing to be the great blessing that it is. In life no one can hand you your dream, you must to seize it on your own. When I realized this everything changed.

In these last few years I’ve been lucky enough to connect with so many wonderful and interesting people from places like New Zealand, Britain, France, Estonia, and Africa. Each time I publish a book or an article it feels as though I’m sending something I’ve given birth to out into the world to make its mark. Words can’t describe the joy that I feel when someone really is touched by something I’ve written and it changes them or even makes them stop for a moment to think.

My first traditionally published book, "One Word At A Time: Finding Your Way As An Indie Author" will be released in just a few weeks. I have jitters like I’ve never experienced before. Will this be the book that changes my life? My life has already been changed through these last twenty years. I no longer chase after material success but rather do the best work I possibly can and will already be smiling with contentment the day it catches up to me. I owe everything to writing and my readers. Because of writing and you I am already wealthy beyond measure in everything that matters. For this, I’m thankful.

With Gratitude,

~Eric Vance Walton~

Ditching Satellite Television - Eight Months Later...The Conclusion

As many of you might remember my wife and I got fed up with the insane cost of satellite TV earlier this year and decided to seek out other alternatives. We opted to try a digital antenna (Amazon.com, $30 one time cost) which brings in 24 free stations from the air and AppleTV (refurbished from the Apple Store, $79 one time cost). We subscribed to HuluPlus and Netflix through AppleTV for a total monthly charge of under $17.00 versus the $130 per month we paid for satellite television. We're eight months into our experiment and have discovered a few things, some of them we expected and some we very much did not. Obviously, we love the cost savings. The total return on the investment of $109 for the antenna and AppleTV was made back the very first month after we cancelled our satellite tv subscription. We have $100+ more in the bank now at the end of every month. What's not to love about that?

Now it’s going to get real. First, there was the honeymoon period. For the first few months our excitement over the cost savings carried us through with smiles on our faces. For me, doubt began to set in around the third month. We found ourselves starting to grumble about the lack of good things to watch on tv. Although Netflix does have really good independent and foreign films (which I love), the bulk of their mainstream movies are horribly outdated for the most part. HuluPlus? Forget about it unless you missed all of the bad movies from the 1980's and 1990's. AppleTV has a vast variety of current movies but our internet connection isn’t fast enough to stream them. For more current movies Redbox is a great option.

Over the air TV programming during our peak viewing time of 6 to 8PM consists of nightly network news, Wheel of Fortune, and a few sitcoms. The former of which bombards you with a steady stream of depressing/negative stories, fear mongering, and mostly nonsense. Our savior has been a combination of PBS and a weak local over-the-air channel that plays reruns of 1970's sitcoms like MASH and Sanford and Son.

Now for some of the things that we weren't anticipating. We are watching far less television. As a result we have more of our time to do other things, like read, listen to good music, exercise, and write (for me). This has enhanced our lives in ways that are both measurable and in many ways that aren't. We find that we aren't zoned out in front of the tube so we talk more. About six months into the experiment I noticed that my brain isn’t as fuzzy, my mental recall is faster, and even my perception of reality had become vastly different than it was before.

Even before this experiment began we watched far less television than the average American. Still, this transformation took a full six months to start to occur. Once I reduced my television viewing I began to realize on a deeper level that the importance our society places on celebrity gossip, consumerism, and trends seem utterly ridiculous given the more serious things going on in the world. Some programming seems like an absolute insult to your intelligence.

Eight months into life without satellite TV life is different but I can assure you that it’s better. I feel more intuned with my body and soul, I feel healthier physically and mentally, I have more free time, and there’s more money in my wallet. I realize that more than our television was deprogrammed as the result of canceling that satellite television subscription! In conclusion, although I miss American Pickers and a few other shows, the positives far outweigh the negatives. A veil has been lifted and our lives are so much better for it.

~Eric Vance Walton~

Finding My Way Back To Me

Only a year ago I felt as though I was living in a nightmare.

For the previous year and a half I was working 50-60 stressful hours a week at my day job, writing and self publishing my first novel, and trying my best to hold my personal life together. I was stretched far beyond the point of exhaustion, unable to sleep, constantly anxious, and feeling desperately stuck. I even started to rely on a couple of glasses of wine each night just to unwind. What was so shocking to me was how quickly my life had become unbalanced. I hadn’t gotten there overnight but it certainly felt that way.

Despite two decades of meditation, I had become disconnected and so immersed in getting through each day every aspect of my life suffered. Finally, one morning I woke up and realized I was just tired of being tired, sick of feeling like this was all my life would ever be. I grew weary of the intense frustration of not having the time to write or promote books that I had written. After all, my writing career was my ultimate dream and my day job was consuming all of my energy and most of my joy.

During the darkest hours the positive reviews of my novel, dialogue with my readers on social media and writing in general gave me a ray of hope. Write that helped me to see the light and find my way back to "me". What I realized was, yes, my job was providing me money but it wasn’t giving me a feeling of purpose or teaching me any new skills. The job consumed so much of my time that I didn’t have time for my writing, which would’ve provided me with a huge sense of purpose and acquiring new skills.

Out of a desire for sheer survival I set out to retool my life. It was my hope that change would happen when I stepped outside of my comfort zone. For months I searched for, and eventually found, a job that would provide a much better work/life balance. All the while I threw 150% of myself into my writing. As a result my life has been transformed into the exciting adventure it is today. My first traditionally published book (a book on writing for beginning Indie authors) will be released on October 14th, I'm now getting published in literary journals on a regular basis, and the sequel to my first novel should be complete by time the snows melt next spring!

I’ve heard the stories, I know there are so many other indie authors going through similar struggles or worse. What I learned through my experience is the only way out is to regain your balance. To achieve that balance we need to get three things from our careers: money; the opportunity to learn new things; and a true sense of purpose. It's every writer's wish that their words provide them with all three of these things. I’m so thankful to have found my way back and am grateful for all of those who have stuck by my side throughout my journey. I think I’m a better writer and a better human being because of it. I guess even in the bad there can be some good.

With Gratitude,

~Eric Vance Walton~

Reboot

Spiritual sages have been telling us for millennia that to find true inner peace and contentment that we must be mindful. My definition of, “mindful” is to be grateful for and live in the moment as much as possible. Living in the moment is more difficult now than it ever has been. Modern life is frenetic. We’re bombarded almost each second of every day with things that prevent us from living in the moment. I’ve been meditating for nearly two decades and still find myself constantly having to bring my mind and thoughts back to center, concentrate on my breath, and having to “reboot” my consciousness.

More often than not the need to bring my mind back to the moment is triggered by some external thing or circumstance. My most recent reboot was brought about by the news that Robin Williams had taken his own life. The news truly brought about a flood of emotions very similar to when I heard of Michael Jackson's death. I liked both artists work but never was what you would call a hardcore fan of either of them. Only after they passed did I think about how much their work had truly impacted my life and how much I appreciated them.

After Michael Jackson was gone I found myself wanting to go back and listen to Thriller and some of his deeper tracks that were intertwined with a good portion of my young life. More recently, with the loss of Robin Williams, I thought about the quality and richness of films and the hilarity of his stand up comedy. He created such an amazing body of work but the two films that had the most impact on me were Good Will Hunting and Dead Poets Society.

As a writer I’ve so often wished that people would appreciate the work of creative people more when they’re alive than when they’re dead. Instances like these make me realize I’m guilty of not fully appreciating them myself. Whether you’re a painter, a photographer, actor, dancer, musician, or author, all of us put so much of ourselves into our professions. It’s difficult beyond comprehension of most people who haven’t walked a similar path.

Think for a moment how much music, films, books, paintings in general can truly impact your life. Have you ever read a book or seen a film that changed you in some way? Have you ever had a song the elevated your mood or comforted you during a difficult time? I credit Pharrell’s song, “Happy” for single handedly allowing me to survive the polar vortex laden winter of 2013. Really, how do you place a value on that?

I guess the lesson I’m walking away with from all this is a major reboot of my appreciation for my fellow creative people. I know how hard it is. I’ve felt your pain but I’ve also experienced your great moments of triumph. In a way I feel as though we’re all part of some big family that keeps humanity laughing, crying, and sometimes when we really do our jobs we keep them thinking.

Have a great day all. I hope you appreciate and enjoy each and every moment of it. To quote the Dead Poet's Society, "No matter what anyone tells you words and ideas really can change the world."

~Eric Vance Walton~

You Say It's My Birthday...

…Happy Birthday to me.  : )  Exactly 43 years ago I came into the world at around 4:40 AM.  Ironically this is very close to when my alarm chimes every single weekday morning for work.  In spite of these early morning wake ups, it's truly been a wonderful life thus far. Today I'm thankful to have the opportunity to spend my day doing one of the things I love most in life…write!  I'm wrapping up my manuscript for my first traditionally published book on writing for beginning (Indie) writers.  The working title is, "The Writer's Life - How To Live It"  

I'm wrapping up edits today on a chapter pertaining to maximizing profit from your work and budgeting. It's the largest chapter so far and contains tips on painless ways to cut the excess from your budget as well as ways to squeeze the most profit from your writing. This afternoon, I'll be hammering away at three new chapters on craft.  I can think of no better way to spend this day. 

As soon as we have more updates and release date for this book I'll be sharing these things here! 

Have a wonderful day, all! 

The Chicago Trip

Back in 2001 my good friend Juan and I, on a whim, decided to have a guys weekend in Chicago. We had so much fun the first trip turned into one more and then another and, after the third year, it became a ritual. Throughout the years many things in our individual lives changed, jobs, a divorce then a new marriage a few years later for me, an adopted child and a battle with cancer for Juan but the Chicago trip was the one constant throughout all of this change. The Chicago trip was the reward that we allowed ourselves for a year of incredibly hard work. My friend Juan is an artist and I'm a writer and we were both very busy building our careers and saving for this trip was always a huge sacrifice. Fast forward a decade and we've stayed true to our commitment to this pilgrimage for the last twelve summers.

At first we had a very limited budget and ate far more Subway sandwiches than a person should. Our first year we each had a budget of $160 in spending money for four days and we somehow managed to do it. We must have put 30 miles on our shoes each of those four days. The hotel we stayed at was an old throwback from the 1920's called The Cass Hotel before it was snapped up by a hotel chain a few years ago and renovated. The rooms at the Cass were reasonably priced and relatively clean but there was still a certain seediness about the place. A few years later we began staying at the Seneca Hotel and until it eventually suffered the same fate as the Cass. Our first few years we were all about the nightlife and there was plenty of it to be had. We have so many unbelievable stories, so many experiences that have been created during these trips. Outrageous things that a person just couldn't make up. These memories are worth ten times whatever was spent on the trips. One day I promise I'll write a book about it.

The mid-nineties brought about a ten year revival of Jazz and big band music and it was popular with the younger crowd. I remember hopping the redline train to the Lawrence station, dressed in my finest suit to listen to big band at the Green Mill. The Alan Gresik Swing Shift Orchestra packed the place. There was so much class, so much energy there, it was incredibly fun.

As the years progressed so did our interests. Each year the Chicago trip became a little more about food, music and culture than about partying. After spending so much time in the city we learned to navigate like a local and since the advent of the smartphone we would easy pack three times as much out of the trip. Every year we gained more confidence and felt comfortable venturing further and further out. We visited Ravinia to enjoy a concert on the lush green grass, Oak Park to experience Frank Lloyd Wright's many architectural masterpieces. Bucktown for a decedent vegetarian feast at the Green Zebra restaurant.

This year we came to the conclusion that this would be will be the final year of our trip to the Windy City. These words had been uttered by us before but I don't think we meant it quite yet. Although this was our most enjoyable Chicago trip ever we both decided that we had seen the city inside out, backwards and forwards, and definitely for better and for worse. We were a little melancholy but we knew that this was it and we said our goodbyes to this wonderful city in style.

One of the many highlights was Rick Bayless' restaurant Xoco. I ordered the vegetable coldas, it was a stew of veggies, wild mushrooms and potato/masa dumplings. Juan had the spare rib and red chili coldas. As good as the food was, we both agreed the best part of the meal by far was the hot cocoa. The staff at Xoco roast and grind the single-sourced cocoa beans right there at the restaurant and words cannot describe how delicious or different this is from any hot cocoa you have ever tasted. Believe me, it is mind-blowing...a melted truffle in a cup. Another highlight was seeing Sara Marie Young at Andy's Jazz Showcase. Look her up, she will one day soon be a household name.

This final year we stayed at the Millennium Knickerbocker Hotel and it was in the best location we ever had. Most everything was close by, the rooms were modern and clean and the concierge gave great suggestions. The Knickerbocker even has a little bar downstairs in the lobby with a jazz trio playing most nights. It was nice to relax down there either before or after the night on the town.

The people of Chicago are, hands down, just some of the best souls I've met anywhere. They are friendly, open-minded and just plain cool. Back in 2002, which I think was our second year, an employee of a shoe store on Michigan Avenue clued us into the nightlife on Rush Street. Back then it was lined with jazz clubs and nightspots that were open until 4:30 in the morning. Today, Rush Street is just a shadow of its former self. This year we were shocked to learn that two of our regular spots left standing, Jilly's and the Hunt Club were demolished. These clubs were reduced to vacant lots, gaping holes in the cityscape and only the ghosts of happy memories remained. We were just in Jilly's last year listening to an amazing band and having the time of our lives. Rumor has it they're putting up high end retail stores in their place.

Little by little, I suppose just like our youth, the old Chicago is slowly fading away. Chicago will always hold a special place in my heart but if growing older teaches you anything, it teaches you how short our time here really is. For our next trip, we'll choose a new destination. Will it be Montreal or possibly Vancouver? We're not sure but there's one thing that's certain, there's nothing more valuable than making new memories.

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The Cure For Common Roadrage

I consider myself a peaceful and easy going individual most of the time, I've meditated and practiced yoga for almost twenty years. There are few things anymore that rile me up but one of them is bad drivers. When I'm driving something transformative happens that reduces the level of my patience nearly to zero. It seems that drivers, more than ever, have their minds on anything and everything but driving. Rules of the road to them are mere "suggestions" and this would include lane markers, signs and traffic lights. Yes, I admit was one of those horn-beeping, finger-flipping barbarians who would call you out for cutting me off, running a red light or drifting into my lane and coming just a few inches from sideswiping me. My cure came in the most unassuming way. Just recently I bought a used 2010 Honda Fit. This car is perfect for me in every way and inadvertently has ended my decade long, love/hate relationship with driving. I believe what this car has taught me could possibly cure road rage altogether, worldwide.

I'll never forget the first day I discovered it. It was just a regular day and I was on the way to work. From the other direction someone turned left in front of me, nearly shearing off the first few inches of the front of my "new" car. I was furious and instinctively slammed my palm into the center of the steering wheel and then it happened, "eeeeeeeeep". Just as a succession of four letter words was about to leave my lips I laughed instead, the horn reminded me of the one on my old 1983 Tomos moped, if the battery were dying. The sound was embarrassingly dreadful and actually the antithesis of what a horn should be.

Just like that I'm a changed man. Years of anger wiped clean. All it took was a wimpy horn.